What's the hardest part?
Not being able to do what you used to do. Right now, I'm the slowest walker out there. I was always a fast walker. People were always telling me, "Slow down. You walk too fast."
Now for me to not do that, it's hard. It's a hard thing to accept. 我不知道我还能不能像以前那么快. 让我平静下来的是知道我还能走路.
You also mentioned stairs.
I used to love climbing stairs. I was a very physical, active person. 如果我看到电梯或楼梯，我就会爬楼梯，因为我看到了挑战. I loved pushing myself.
I get exhausted now. Walking, as an amputee, 我燃烧的卡路里是普通人的两倍, because you're working more muscles.
It's difficult. You've got to have good endurance. That's why a lot of amputees give up. It's not easy.
当你能够迈出第一步的时候是什么感觉?
说实话，当我迈出第一步的时候，我并没有想太多. My friend Michelle was videotaping it. 一看到视频，我就哭得像个小婴儿.
This accident was a blessing in disguise. 是的，我确实失去了身体的四分之一，但我现在很平静. I'm a stronger person. 我偶尔会崩溃和哭泣，但我会重新站起来. It's been an amazing journey. You learn a lot about yourself.
I remember when I went to get checked up by Dr. 温伯格，我坐在轮椅上，他看到我说:“上帝保佑你. You're going to walk."
我当时想，“哇，这家伙对我一无所知，他已经告诉我了."
这是它教会我的一件事:你必须富有同情心. I'm a more compassionate person. I was very self-centered before my accident. I did my thing, only worried about myself. 现在是，“不，你必须为别人着想，帮助别人."
你说你从这次旅行中学到了很多. What are some of the most important lessons?
接受我的缺陷，做一个更好的人，爱我自己. I'm a gay man. Never accepted it before, but now, this is me. I've gone through enough.
在你的日常生活中，最困难的事情是什么?
To get in and out of a chair or stand up. 这就是为什么我专注于拥有一个非常强壮的上半身, because you do not believe how much that helps.
这是我告诉截肢者的一件事:锻炼你的上肢力量，因为它真的会对你有帮助.
尽管面临着种种挑战，但你已经谈到，总的来说，你更快乐了.
我告诉人们，这就像同时经历了天堂和地狱. I'm a much better person, a happier person now. 以前，我对安眠药上瘾，因为我压力太大了.
Now, I can sleep whenever I want. 我以前只喝两杯咖啡，然后一整天都很紧张. 现在，我可以在晚上8点喝一杯咖啡，释放压力，平静下来.
My blood pressure is better now. I have the blood pressure of a 20-year-old.
Why is that?
Because I'm calm, stress free. 不过我不建议你为了降低血压而失去双腿!
I've learned to shut negativity out of my life. Keep what's good and get rid of the bad. That is what's helped me get so far. 即使你不是脑外科十大赌博平台排行榜也能弄明白. 很遗憾我在事故发生前没有这样做，但永远不会太晚.
你能跟我谈谈幻肢痛(身体某个部位的疼痛感)吗??
It's a big deal with amputees. 对我来说，那是在我截肢一个月后. I would feel my legs. I could tell you exactly where my feet were. 在十大赌博平台排行榜的时候，我从床上坐起来，感觉四肢不断下垂.
As time went on, it blurred out. 你能感觉到你的脚，但你不知道它们在哪里. It got pretty bad at times. It got so bad that I could not sleep. It was hard.
现在，我确实感觉到了，而且是一种持续的刺痛. It just feels like your foot falls asleep. 没有什么能阻止我做我的事. I block it out.
What is your biggest fear?
Falling. When kids learn to walk, they have no fear. They don't think about falling. 作为一个成年人，你起床的时候就已经在想，我要摔倒了. You feel unstable.
I've been doing unassisted walking. 我的理疗师说:“分散你的注意力. Don't think about walking. The more you think, the harder it is." She told me, "Count the months backwards."
I did that and just walked. Kept on, continued to walk, unassisted.
What's that feel like?
Liberating. It felt like these legs were really mine. Walking was a little awkward, but I was doing it. 我走着走着，一个路人走过来对我说:“太棒了!" He put that big old smile on my face. To know that you can walk, it's amazing.
How has the experience been at UCSF?
I get that genuine feeling. I don't see them as people taking care. I see them as family now. It's on a first-name basis.
我从第一天起就说过这是塞翁失马焉知非福. Maybe a year or two from now, 我会回头说:“这是发生在我身上最好的事情."
It's not easy, but you become a stronger person. 你会发现谁是你真正的朋友和家人. You learn to really love yourself.
Why do you have a smile on your face?
我会随便找一个从没见过我的人对我说:“上帝保佑你。.“有人走过来对你说，这是一件很有力量的事情.
Or someone will just come up to me and say, "You inspire me to move because I see what you're going through; you have the guts to come do what you have to do to work out." It's nice to know that people see that.
But I'm not superhuman. I'm not something special. I'm just somebody that wants to walk, but it is nice to know that your effort, your hard work, is paying off.
我可以在晚上睡觉的时候拍拍自己的背说:“你今天干得真棒."
